wow
just read through a bunch of old posts. are they real?
i’m in the process of recovering. I spent all yesterday at the doctors. They want to put me in inpatient. I don’t want to go. I’m scared. I’ve been eating a lot more. And not worrying about it. (as much) I still can’t believe this happened to me. I knew it was, but I didn’t. Everything seemed to happen so fast.
This tumblr needs to go.
i made a healthy tumblr.
i want to forget this blog.
but i can’t delete it.
not yet.
i weigh 88 pounds. my lowest yet.
i’ve been doing okay though. i’ve been eating so much. i’ve stopped counting. well i’ve stopped recording the numbers anyways.
i’m trying. really. i am. ok bye.
Did shrooms the other night. I thought I was going to die. I binged on honey chex mix tonight. I’m gross. I’m trying to be healthy and gain some weight.
While on shrooms I was with my brother who was eating a snickers and I asked him for the rest of it and he told me I don’t eat snickers. It made me want to cry and I ended up eating like four. I don’t know. I’m a mess
Been awhile. Been doing okay. I’m at my lowest 88.9. I feel so lonely an unmotivated these past few days. I feel unworthy and alone. It’s making me want to purge. I just don’t want to feel this way. I have that feeling where I want to go chug my water just to go throw it back up. Fuck this
Been awhile. Been doing okay. I’m at my lowest 88.9. I feel so lonely an unmotivated these past few days. I feel unworthy and alone. It’s making me want to purge. I just don’t want to feel this way. I have that feeling where I want to go chug my water just to go throw it back up. Fuck this
I want to throw up so badly right now. Fighting the urge. Home alone. No one should be home for about an hour. I just ate too much and I wasn’t even hungry. I’ll just go exercise and go to bed. No toliet. No throwing up. Exercise and sleep. New day tomorrow. New day. I’m so fucking huge.
90.8 today
Nervous to get to 90 because then what?
Binged on pumpkin pie. Need to have a low intake tomorrow to balance. Gnight
At the gym. Doing an easy quick workout on the elliptical. Goin in the hot tub. Going home. Eating dinner consisting of little bit of ham and sweet potatoes. Making tea and leaving to go to my game. Then coming home and either going straight to bed or eating a little cottage cheese. I need the energy. That’s the plan. Hope it works. I’m okay.
